I wish to find this person and hurt them a little.

Have just dug a standpipe out of my mum's garden. It was not disused: it was never used. It stood in a lump of concrete[1] and had no connection at all to any other pipework. I am unable to comprehend the mind which would produce this object. It was, so far as I can make out, not just currently useless, but unable ever to be made useful. There was no thread on the end in the ground and (as I said) it was standing in a lump of concrete. To ever connect it to water, you would have had to dig it out, destroy the concrete, lay piping and then connect it properly. It wasn't even ornamental. Why does the world contain people capable of committing such grotesquerie? And how can I find them and poke them with pointy sticks until they stop?



[1] About a cubic foot of utterly shitty concrete, about 9 parts sand to 1 part cement. I should not be able to break up solid concrete with my hands. I feel quite strongly about this. It may be a meaningless and actively harmful task, but you should still do it properly. Because if you don't generations of ghostly craftspeople will haunt you and plane your nose off in your sleep. Or something. [2]

[2] While we're complaining, LOLcats are vile bastards. After a few minutes looking at them and going "Aw" (or "Dear sweet gods kill it with fire!", depending), I have completely lost whatever capacity to arrange words in order I may once have had. Eloquence: i lackz it.