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Modern Man has been called the Talking Animal because he talks more than any three other animals chosen at random. He has also been called the Reasoning Animal but there may be a catch in this.
-Will Cuppy, How To Tell Your Friends From The Apes

During my labors I found time for my first intensive study of Aristotle... The more one peruses this author, and ponders upon him, the more one realises the wide range, the almost universal scope of his misinformation.
-Will Cuppy, How To Tell Your Friends From The Apes

With many thanks to my estimable sibling for the shiny booky. To her I say:

I know of nobody at all of whose imagination I should feel prouder and more signally honored to be a figment.